Dear Jonny

Apparently douche-iness is in. True talent is out.

Jonny Craig’s almost cult-like following is un-freaking-believable. Starry-eyed fans speak of him as a near God-like rocker and sing his praises; claiming his talent to be on the level of the “greats” of our time. (The irony of all this; half of them don’t have a clue who Led Zeppelin, Hendrix, and Cash are, but I digress…)

Sure, he can carry a tune, but does that seriously make him awesome? Apparently it does in the eyes of misguided fanzies with limited musical knowledge.

What moron would support this dude & his “music”?

At Warped Tour, Jonny & his band’s merch sales practically out-sold many other bands of equal or superior talent. Teens obsessed with his trashy, douchebag rockstar lifestyle swarm his tent desperately hoping for a glimpse of the strung out rocker with the hyper-inflated ego. If they’re lucky they may get chewed out or barfed on. They want to be him.

Think this is a load of crap? Think again. If you buy his merch, buy his albums, and buy his tickets, you ARE supporting him...and his obvious issues with addiction. Why would you want to support someone who treats his fans like shit and is rarely sober? He doesn’t even appreciate you funding his underachieving lifestyle and his washed-up, pathetic image.

Truth is, he is the antithesis of everything that is wrong with the music industry today. Everyone wants to be a rockstar. Not because of the music, but because of the “perks” that come with it. Today’s talent-lacking industry spends more time pushing booze & drugs than pushing the musical envelope, and Jonny Craig, with his trashy tanks, dirty pants, & greasy hair, is a perfect example of everything that is wrong with the world of music today.

So Dear Jonny, do us all a favor. Take your songs, your voice, and your ass-hole personality to rehab where you belong. And while you’re at it, take the music industry with you. You both should be ashamed that you are promoting this kind of garbage to ANYONE.

Shows Gone Wrong

Between the WTB crew, we’ve seen copious amounts of concerts & shows, and for some reason, it never fails that something unbelievably ridiculous happens. Usually, Janna (above) is the victim of the debauchery, but we’ve all seen our share. Here is a compilation of craziness that we’ve all encountered over the past few years.

Picture it. Wilmington, North Carolina, 2008. Breathe Carolina Show.

Mid-song, David kicks the microphone stand. Swinging out of control, the microphone pummels an audience member (Janna) in the head. David, oblivious to the beat down, continues the song un-phased.

Warped Tour ’09. All Time Low.

Final show of a rainy day at Warped Tour. A shirtless, obviously intoxicated ATL calls the crowd’s attention to a white-pants wearing Jonathan Cook (Forever the Sickest Kids) who happens to be standing side stage. They announce to the masses that Jonathan Cook is not only wearing white pants, but he “has a big dick.” How the crap do they know that he has a big dick?  And why are they looking? Is this a band thing?

This same show; wasted All Time Low members suddenly discovered that a certain cloud appeared to be an erect penis…was a show really worth stopping for that? Regardless. We all saw the cloud. And no, it did not resemble an erect penis. Hmmm, beginning to wonder if they have a thing for male genitalia. Just a thought.

A recent Every Avenue show.
A friend of WTB members & fellow concert go-er, was joking around in the audience, saying “Not every street, not every drive…but it’s Every Avenue.” Or something like that. Anyways…In the middle of all this, the Lead singer, drunk of course and obviously impressed, yells out ”I will give you a blow job for that comment!!!”.  Did I mention that our buddy is a BOY? Embarrassed doesn’t begin to cover it.

Summertime show with Family Force Five.
Another WTB blogger got stepped on by Chapstick. This is after he filled his mouth with water and spit on her. NOT cool. And thanks for spreading germs. By the way, you looked brilliant. And one more thing, shampoo is your friend.

Sent By Ravens in Charleston, SC.

Some mindless freak decided his life would not be fulfilled unless he stage dove into the crowd. while some ducked, others were demolished including a WTB blogger, Katie. Never fear, she made us all proud who got up swinging like a champ. You show ‘em girl!

Same show, Another overachiever decided to test gravity. He ended up taking out the lead singer and created a pile-on that left Janna at the very bottom.

20 people. Live show in Charleston. Random “winner at life” runs out of no where and body tackles Janna, leaving her on the floor. She wins the award for most “near death experiences at a concert.”

Band Whores

Band Whores. Band Sluts. Groupies.
Whatever you call them; it’s all pretty much the same. You know the ones. If the music scene was college, they would be the excessively obnoxious sorority girls.

If you’ve ever been to a show, you’ve probably seen a few. They’re not a rare breed. These scantily clad pillars of femininity come to venues dressed to the nines with perfect makeup and hair. Seriously, sweetie. You’re at a show. The primary goal of their species is to hook up. With a guy (or girl). From the band. Success is critical to feed their need for attention, low self-esteem, and status-driven lifestyles. Not the easiest creatures to ignore, they slither their way to the front of the crowd. If you refrain from confrontation, or even if you don’t, they will push you out of your spot; all in an attempt to reach the stage. Not really sure the point in that. They don’t really sing. They don’t usually dance. Half the time, they probably don’t even know the band that’s playing. Oh yeah; that’s right. They push to the stage so they can eye-bang the lead singer. Got it.

And it doesn’t stop there. Some of these precious girls even buy advance tickets, so they can sit and flirt pre-show. This is imperative if they want to gain an edge over others of their “kind” and increase their chance of the coveted “hook up.” Once the show is over, it gets even more pathetic. They strut up to band guys, being certain that real or imitation cleavage is in plain view, and shamelessly flirt. Arm stroking, excessive giggling, pretending they know shit about music. (sorry, search engines don’t make you a musical expert, sweet pea.)

While these Gems of Womanhood plague pretty much every musical genre, they seem to be especially prevalent at Pop/Punk shows. Truthfully, this is partly encouraged by the bands. These guys range from seemingly innocent teenagers like Stereo Skyline to twenty-ish year old, CLEARLY risky guys like All Time Low. What are these girls thinking? Oh yeah. Totally forgot. Being in a band makes your cookies yummy. But their dirty secret is that most of them once were card-holding members of the nerd herd and dreamed about starting a band and getting chicks. Some of them are just so darn UN-cute that they should thank their stars that they can capitalize on the ignorance and low self-esteem of mediocre teenage, female society. In an alternate life, lacking a mic, guitar, & amp; of course, they would be working at Radio Shack and hitting on middle-schoolers.

After much observation, it’s obvious that musicians are pretty typical. They run straight for the same type. All the fun, wholesome, music-loving girls need to turn their sights to the dorks in AV club and geeks in marching band.

Ah. Lesson learned. 

Alternative Christmas Songs

15 Best,  5 Worst, and 1 I'm not too sure about


Best (in no specific order):
1. Ho Ho Hopefully by The Maine and Brighten


2. Weak Man, Weak Boy (Christmas Version) by Balance & Composure

sorry couldn't find a video

3. O Holy Night by Divided By Friday

4.  Christmas Lights by Coldplay


5.  I Celebrate The Day by Relient K

Not an official video.


6. You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch by Gary Hoey

Not an official video.


7. Of Two Bearded Men by Number One Gun
could not find video


8. Have Yourself A Lonely Little Christmas by Asteria

Not an official video.

9.  Father Christmas by The Kinks

Not an official video.


10. Maybe This Christmas by For All Those Sleeping


11. Christmas Night of Zombies by MxPx

Not an official video.

12. The Christmas Song by Chase Coy

Not an official video.


13. Ex'Miss by New Found Glory

Not an official video.

14. Christmas With You by ArtistVsPoet

Not an official video.


15. Winter Passing by The Academy Is


EXTRA AS A PRESENT!
(yay, present)
Happy Xmas (War is Over) by John Lennon

Best  shareable version I could find.


Worst (in no specific order):
1. Rated X-Mas by Millionaires
2. Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney
3. Bob Dylan whole Christmas album
4. Not Giving In by Rediscover
5. Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight) by The Ramones
note: Most of theses bands we actually like, it is just that their Christmas songs suck. Except for the Millionaires. They just completely suck.




One I'm not too sure about:
The Baby by FamilyForce5

What can I say? This song is borderline horrible but also borderline awesome. You decide.




MERRY CHRISTMAS! or whatever holiday you celebrate

Philmont

It’s always encouraging to find a band who is equally talented & gracious. This proved to be the case with Philmont, a Christian based out of Charlotte, North Carolina. The band originally formed in the summer of 2005. Today, two of the original four members remain, and recently they added a fifth member. Their sound tends to have a pop, punk feel with lyrics heavily influenced by their Christian faith. To date, the band has released 4 EP’s and one album.

Recently, a WTB member had the chance to work with them and left the experience with only positive things to say. It’s so rare to find a band that is easy to work with and appreciative. Most bands are quite diva-licious, so it’s almost shocking when you happen across those who are the polar opposite. When Philmont arrived at the venue, they were down to earth, friendly, and happy to be there. And holy cow; They even helped to unload and set-up their own equipment for the show.  Happily playing to a not-so-packed-house, Philmont rocked our faces, and playing to a audience of mixed-faiths, they didn’t shove their beliefs down anyone’s throats. Instead, we’re guessing they prove their faith through action & attitude. ‘Nough Said.

It’s not often that we write a positive, approving blog concerning the music industry, so mark it down. Much love & best wishes to the band!

And here’s the plug:
They just released a new EP called “Transitions” which we highly recommend. You can download it on ITUNES or listen to it on their Facebook page!!!

Here are their Links:

www.myspace.com/philmontrock

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1493940159#!/PhilmontRock

Janna with Philmont

Networking

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Hardcore

Harder. Faster. Thicker. Heavier.

Hardcore Music. Quite frankly, this sounds more like a tagline for some enhancement drug or the latest flick in the porn world. Got you all excited didn't we.

Currently all the rage with emo-kids and pissed off adolescents, Hardcore music has become more of a "fad" than anything. And by the way, what the crap is it anyways?
A bunch of  sweaty, moody guys who perform shirtless screaming unintelligible noises into a microphone? A barbaric, tribal-influenced genre of music that encourages anger, hate, and violence? Well, that is precisely what we have ventured to discover.

Our research was pretty extensive; involving our attendance at numerous shows, a plethora of fights & mosh pits, too many bruises to count, and a lunch meeting at Ruby Tuesdays during which we talked a lot of crap and scoured the internet for more information. All of this pretty much led us to the same point. Hard core music & it's "crowd" teeters on the edge of pathetic.

First of all, the music. One site we checked out described it as a "melodic exploration." Seriously? Sounds like something middle schoolers do in their rooms alone. Not really a satisfying description of a musical genre. From what we have heard, hardcore does rely heavily on rhythm, and the use of the ever-typical guitar/bass/drums setup. There is a "singer" or "screamer". The lyrics are barely understandable. The vast majority of  Hardcore musicians are not trained. Many are not even educated past a little high school. (Way to go America) That's probably why they rely heavily on extremely basic guitar chords and simple keys. And indeterminate lyrics. Sorry guys, screaming syllables for a living doesn't seem like much of a musical profession.

And seriously, isn't Christian Hardcore kind of an oxymoron? Think about it. Have you ever heard an uplifting or positively charged hardcore song? Us either. Let's be brutally honest. Do you really even have a clue what they are saying? For all you know, they're screaming about the positive affects of devil worship and murdering kitty cats. I mean, isn't the point of Christian music spreading the "message". How do you spread a message that the audience doesn't even understand? How do you profess Christian ideals while the audience is beating the mess out of each other? So sorry guys, unfortunately screaming about the virgin birth of Jesus Christ does not a Christian-hardcore-band make.

Besides the music being sub-par, what the hello-kitty is going on with their logos and merchandise?? Is it NOT the point of a font or logo to be clearly legible so that it represents the band and gains them exposure? Half of the logos that we've seen for hardcore bands are either completely illegible or so freaking distorted it takes forever to figure out. C'mon hardcore bands. Are you trying to make a statement: "We're overcomplicated & a waste of your time."??? If all other musical genres can figure out the art of branding; I think the hardcore guys might can squeeze something out as well. In other words, get with the program.

The current generation of hardcore kids seems to be littered with underachieving, over-tattooed assholes. Go ahead. Load up on those crappy tattoos. I mean, it's not like most of you have steady employment anyways. Not to mention that you're going to look like a sagging bag of ink by the time your 60. Most of the guys there show up wearing hoodies, even in the dead of July. Sounds like you're super smart. Girls usually parade around wearing anything they can to catch the attention of a band member. But that's a whole different blog entry entirely. What's so funny is that they are trying SO hard NOT to conform to a style, genre, or society in general, that they end up conforming MORE. Oh, the irony. Guys (and even some REALLY intelligent girls) hang out around the "mosh pit" bumping around like gorillas on cocaine. The "pit" is just the hard core version of a Homosexual night club where everyone gets sweaty and rubs up against people of the same sex. The only difference is that people actually get hurt, hurt other people, and are too cool to care. Guys, do whatever you want. We already expect this type of primal behavior from you, but please realize, no girls' dreamboat is missing his front teeth. Ladies, get with it. You look like complete trash in a mosh pit. Unfortunately, you are NOT the shit, and you are just begging someone to kick your ass.

Hugs & kisses.